By JaNae Francis

Standard-Examiner staff

BLUFFDALE — Drew Reese says he knows, as well as any living person can, what it’s like to be dead.

A veteran of Operation Iraqi Freedom and Operation Enduring Freedom, Reese said he returned home in 2005 with a physical disability and post-traumatic stress disorder.

Upon returning, Reese said, his physical pain was difficult, but the emotional trauma was “impossible.”

He couldn’t control his feelings, and that lack of control “drove away everyone I associated with.”

PTSD led to his losing several jobs, and the medications the Veterans Administration doctors prescribed to help him deal with the symptoms brought on their own negative effects.

“I don’t discourage people from taking their medicine,” Reese said. “I tell them it’s important that they continue their medical treatment. I just tell them about my healing as well.” He paused, then added, “The most important thing I tell them is that they can get help. A lot of people don’t get treated.”

Reese said anger was the only emotion he felt for a long time, and he was concerned that his body was building up a tolerance to the medication he was taking. Higher doses were not the answer.

Then something happened when he heard a Christian worship song, “Better is One Day,” by Matt Redman.

“That song and that moment cracked a little hole in the massive darkness that had come into my life,” Reese said. “It was more than the song that has brought enough of a healing to not rely on the numbing medications … This song began a process that brought me closer to Jesus, who brought the healing.”

Looking back on his life before that moment, he draws on the New Testament story in John 11, about a man who was dead for four days and was brought back to life by Jesus.

“I was Lazarus. I was, in every essence, dead. … I had to die to realize that I can’t do it (alone).”

Reese said, just as in the story, when he heard the Redman song, he was awakened as if from a deep sleep.

He explained the message of Jesus Christ as: “There is nothing you can do that will ever make me love you any less; in fact it will make me love you more.”

Now Reese is setting about sending that message to others.

“My mission in life is to make Jesus famous in everything I do,” he said.

He is doing this through a website he has created for individuals and their families who are dealing with PTSD.

The website, www.warriorworship.org, includes music, talks, articles, advice and resources for those touched by PTSD. And Reese is hoping to expand the website with help from others in the community who are concerned about PTSD.

A person’s discovering that he or she has PTSD and seeking help for that condition is the only way to address the symptoms, he said.

Referring to the triggers that can set off a reaction in those who have PTSD, he said, “It’s learning to recognize that those ‘buttons’ are there. It’s learning to back off when those buttons are there.”

He said what has helped him and others is not allowing PTSD to define them.

“I say, ‘This is not me. It’s my PTSD talking,’ and I can walk it back and not react.

“What I’ve been going through is step by step,” he said. “Each technique I’ve learned builds on the other. Once you recognize PTSD, you can control it.”

Now a recording artist himself, Reese has recently released his own album.

Titled “Redemption,” Reese’s compact disc features five songs, including one titled “Awakening,” which he said describes exactly the experience he had with coming to his Savior Jesus Christ.

“One song cracked the door open for me,” he said. “I reached out to God and found that as my awakening.”

He said at that moment, he finally felt something besides anger.

In addition to his musical efforts and his website, Reese is a musical worship leader the second and fourth Sunday each month at K2 The Church, a Christian church with locations in Salt Lake City and Sandy.

He believes strongly in the teachings there, especially in a policy for worshippers to come as they are to services.

“Jesus says, ‘Come as you are, in your imperfections, and through me be made whole,’” he said.

“There are no conditions,” he said. “That’s the power of Christ — the all-encompassing love and acceptance.”

He said if people understood this concept, they’d be better able to turn to Christ in their lives and understand the message of the story of Lazarus’ healing.

“I am the resurrection and the life,” reads part of the New International Version of John 11, verses 25 and 26.

“The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die.”

More about Drew Reese

After spending four years in the Air Force, Drew Reese transferred to the Army to pursue a different career path. He is currently assigned to the 23rd Army Band for the Utah Army National Guard, where he serves as a lead vocalist, production coordinator, arranger/producer and public affairs NCO.